Breaking: Beans, Blame, and Ballroom Blueprints
LIVE: Televised Press Conference Doug Addresses the Nation About the Sudden (Totally Intentional) Ad…
Vote early. Vote often.
- Both illicitly obtained and manipulated votes carry equal weight.
- The value of votes, whether misappropriated or manipulated, remains the same.
- Illegitimate votes, whether pilfered or falsified, are counted with equal importance.
- Let’s introduce ‘Democracy for the Departed’—because opinions don’t expire, even if you do. In this system, ghost votes are golden!
- Maybe we need a ‘Zombie Apportionment Act’—for those who are politically active beyond the mortal coil. One foot in the grave, two votes in the box!
- How about a ‘Poltergeist Polling Provision’? If you can knock three times on the ballot box, your vote counts for two.
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I’ve recently been blamed for…
Doug Did That
If my wife says I did it
Getting Blamed isn’t always a bad thing…
Sometimes I come up with a great idea for someone else, then I get blamed because they have to do more work…